Into the Ocean
by Wings of Desire
Summary: <html><head></head>O/S Being stuck in the in between is hard. Especially when your ex is moving on. AU *1st place winner in the Will You Marry Me? Contest hosted by TwiGirlsNextDoor</html>


**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own anything Twilight. It is all yours SMeyer.**

**Summary: Being stuck in the in between is hard. Especially when your ex is moving on.**

**REVIEW!**

**Fyi- I deleted this fic off another account I have so I can merge them. There is a stupid reason I am doing it and I will not bore you with the why. Lol**

**This o/s won first place in the Will You Marry Me? Contest.**

**Enjoy and review if you would like.**

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><p><strong>JPOV<strong>

I followed Bella up the stairs of the small home until she reached the bathroom. The bathroom door creaked as she opened it, and she took a quick glance around the narrow hall suspiciously before locking the door behind her. I thought for a brief second that maybe she had seen me but she looked right through me.

I did not want her to be alone so I continued to follow her into the bathroom. I knew what she was going to do; she was going to hide from the forlorn crowd.

I could not blame her. She had been strong this week but that strength was wearing thin. She no longer wanted to deal with having to respond to the sympathetic expressions of our friends and family. She had no words nor did she want any of them to feel sorry for her however unavoidable that would be.

I stood next to her, undetectable, watching her anguished tears. She dabbed at her red swollen eyes with a Kleenex. "Why Jake," she murmured and broke down in to uncontrollable despair. I whispered her name and that I loved her. I tried to tell her I was here with her and that I always would be. I tried to tell her I was okay.

My words were ignored.

Unable to comprehend the reasons for my departure of the life I had loved so much, I threw my hands up in the air and shouted out of anger and frustration getting louder with the sudden feeling of loneliness.

Standing next to her in the small bathroom, she still could not hear my shouts. My shouting became more forceful and I tried to steal energy from everything around me to get her to sense me. The lights flickered, a great feat, but she still did not seem to notice.

Her sobs continued to increase as she let go of any strength she had managed to keep and she fell to the ground. She did not try to help herself up as she lay in the same awkward position she had fallen in. I knelt next to her, reaching out trying to wipe her tears away. My hand glided through her cheek, a strange sensation, after a while of repeated tries the frustration became too unbearable, and I began to sob in tandem with her.

After about an hour, she began to recover herself as she sat up straight and pulled her knees into her chest. She deliberately closed her eyes and began to take deep breaths. She slowly stood up and held onto the counter for support. She glared at herself in the mirror, the most poignant look on her face, and took one final deep breath, then went to open the door pausing for only a moment before she bravely went to face the crowd once more.

She left me imprisoned in the four walls of the small room, where I was, once again, forced to wage war with a light so brilliant, it nearly pulled me in. I called out her name in agony knowing she would not hear me.

Leaving the brilliant light, I trailed Bella's steps until I reached her where she was staring at me, cold and dead in my casket.

_**One Year Later…**_

She had found somebody; a new improved version of me. Despite my death and her lack of knowledge that I was with her every moment, I was as jealous as I had ever been in my life. This man, Edward, was good looking and rich. As far as I could tell, he was just as smitten with her as she seemed to be with him. Moreover, this irked me.

Just recently, I had to witness their first kiss. The moment before it had happened Bella had the most beautiful smile on her face, a smile I had not seen since before my death. I had started to walk closer to her, to stand before her so I could pretend she was smiling at me anticipating a kiss from me. Edward had beaten me to her and before I realized it, his lips were on hers.

Ridden with jealousy, I ran at Edward with clenched fists and the only thing that had happened was my entire body flying through him after my fist, I had tried hard to hit and pull him away from her but I was going in circles unable to make contact so I simply left.

I spent the rest of the night out at La Push beach watching the waves grab at the sand and then calmly retreat in to their safe haven. I felt the unjustified jealously flare back up at the fact that something as simple as water had somewhere to go and I did not. I was stuck here, in this salted existence, unsure of where the bright light could lead me and most importantly uncertain that I could leave Bella.

I pondered my future, wondering if I even had one. When I was alive, I always thought you died and went straight to Heaven or Hell. Never did I think there was an in between. Ghosts were not something I believed in. Yet there I stood, a lonely ghost burning down a love that could never be.

Briefly, I had thought about taking the plunge and going into the light but like all the other times I could feel the pull back to Bella and I knew I could not leave her. I needed to watch over her. She was the only factor holding me to this existence and she was not a detail I was willing to let go of.

As I stood there, all alone, I realized my life had run its course and my words had lost their soul, for no one would ever hear them. There was nowhere I could go and nothing I could do.

**BPOV**

It had been over a year since I had lost Jacob to a random act of violence. Every now and then, I would think he was with me. I would forget about his death and find myself calling out his name, as if he were watching television in the next room but he would never respond. Certain visions would pierce my mind like the way he looked in his casket, so pale and distinctive, yet peaceful, and I would have to start the grieving process all over again.

It had gotten better once I met Edward Cullen. He shared a few qualities with Jacob, like his compassion, intensity, and good looks.

At first I was careful with Edward, not sure how to open up and let someone else in. Edward had made it easy by allowing me to take my time and eventually opening up about Jacob. Edward was sympathetic and I could tell he was sincere when he told me he wished he could take that pain away.

A few months after meeting Edward was when I realized that the pain of losing Jacob dulled and I had started to fall in love with Edward. It was a shock considering I never thought my heart would work again.

Edward had come over for dinner one night and while we were cooking, he turned and looked at me with a tender look in his eyes and confessed his love. I had been silent for a moment, unable to comprehend how he could love me, when I suddenly clutched Edwards's shirt, pulling him down towards me and kissing him with all the passion I could muster.

Edward did not question my sudden outburst as he instantly followed my lead. My hands trailed across his chest and up around his neck, finally resting entwined in his hair. Edward had one hand softly on my face while the other grazed my left side and curving to my back where he pulled me in closer.

I could feel in his kiss that his confession was honest and it only turned me on more. I pushed forward until my entire front side pressed up against his. His strong hands firmly moved towards my back and down to where he was able to get a good grip on me so he could lift me up.

I wrapped my legs around him to where his arousal leveled with my core and our kissing became more urgent. He spun us around and pressed my backside into the small kitchen wall, careful to avoid the hanging decoration.

I relaxed a little and used the wall for more support so I could get my hands down to unbutton Edwards's shirt. Edward trailed his kisses down my neck and I could not help but close my eyes as I continued to finish unbuttoning blindly.

Once his shirt was off, I began to trace the pattern of his abs with one hand causing Edward to tremble. He then found the hem of my shirt but took his time exploring my bare stomach as he brought my shirt up. My breathing accelerated as he pulled it over my head and dropped it on the floor.

We continued to kiss, as he slid a finger under my bra and unsnapped it, freeing my chest. I moved my arms so that he could pull the straps down and off. He gazed down at my chest, in admiration, before he slowly cupped a breast and brought his mouth back to mine.

He slowly let my legs down to the floor and I began wriggling out of my skirt and thong. When I was completely bare, I started unfastening his jeans, pulling them down by the sides, before finally reaching into the warmth of his boxers. His breathing became even with mine, as his mouth started to explore other areas of my body, beginning with my chest.

A small moan escaped through my lips as I felt his hot breath over my chest, bringing a slight smile to his face. He continued exploring my chest with his mouth, incorporating his tongue. I continued to moan as his hand moved between my legs. The rhythm of his hand felt so good against my core that I could not wait any longer. I needed him.

"Edward," I tried to say, but it came out as a moan. I could feel his length harden more and I knew he liked hearing his name in that way.

He continued what he was doing, working his technique. My eyelids fluttered as my eyes rolled to the back of my head.

"Edward," I tried again, and this time he answered.

It was a silent answer. He knew what I wanted, and he was determined to give it to me. His mouth found mine again as he picked me up again this time moving us to the next room.

He knelt to the ground slowly and unwilling to let us break our kiss. When we were on the floor, he positioned himself over me. I was aching to have him closer, to have him inside me. He pulled away to look me in the eyes.

"I want you, forever," he confessed. "I love you,"

I was not quite sure if I could let those words escape my mouth so I said the next best thing.

"I want you, too."

With that, we were one.

Edward was letting out small whimpers in conjunction with mine, and just like him, I loved hearing my name escape his mouth in ecstasy. I could feel it building up inside, the love, the orgasm, and when we finally reached it together, I shocked myself with the words that flew out of my mouth.

However, I could not be upset, because they were true.

"I love you," I said.

**JPOV**

I watched in resentment as he confessed his love. Her hesitation to respond had me conflicted with sorrow and pleasure. The small part of me that was happy for her was glad that she was not lonely the way that I was. It was hard to watch her with him but I was grateful.

I watched her as they made love in the living room. Her face was so content, completely stripped from the edge of sadness it usually held. I would have given anything to make her feel that way again. Love was all over her face, and even though he was uncertain of her feelings, I knew she loved him before she had finally admitted it.

I came to the realization that my time here was done and that Bella would be okay that night. I decided that I would finally see what was waiting for me behind the light. I would just have to wait until it appeared again.

**BPOV**

Edward made me happier than I had ever thought. A few times, I had questioned if I was even happier with him than I had ever been with Jake. I had finally decided that their love touched me in different ways and my heart was big enough for both men. Jacob would always be alive in my heart even if it were Edward whom was the one was filling it.

Edward was on a business trip for a few days so I decided to spend my weekend getting some chores done that I had put off. Friday night, I gutted out the garage re-organizing and getting rid of clutter. I came upon a box that had 'Jacob' written across the top. I wondered how this box managed to escape my notice for so long. When I opened it, I found papers and another small box. I quickly skimmed the papers and they were nothing but old college notes.

I opened the small box and found a wooden heart-shaped box. It was obvious that Jacob had made it. I opened the box and there was a small piece of folded paper tucked inside. I pulled it out and quickly opened it. Tears came to my eyes as I read what it held.

_Bella-_

_Here is my heart it is yours to keep. _

_Every moment with you is a walk in the clouds, its Heaven._

_No matter what the future holds, you will always be the girl with my heart._

_I love you, _

_Jacob_

Jacob was never overly romantic like that and I wondered why he never gave it to me. He had given me his heart in so many other ways but this one tops them all. Jacob made it very clear how much he loved me and that he intended to marry me and I began to wonder if he had other plans for this box. Maybe he was planning to put an engagement ring in it instead. I was not sad at my discovery, I found myself letting out a sigh that I had seemed to be holding since Jacob's death.

I took the carved heart shaped box to my room and examined it before setting it on my dresser. On the bottom, Jacob had carved our initials. I let out a little laugh and whispered, "I love you Jake."

When I woke up the next morning, I felt as if weights were lifted off me and I could finally move on. I allowed myself to picture a life with Edward. I could finally see me growing old with him. I pictured us sitting on our back porch sipping tea and watching our grandchildren play in the backyard.

I spent the whole day finishing chores. I took a shower so I could relax and go to sleep. When I stepped out of the shower, I thought I had heard someone in the room. I quickly wrapped my towel around me tight and peeked out the door but did not see anyone.

When I was dressed, I went downstairs and noticed something shining on the kitchen table. I could not remember leaving anything out on it and as I got closer, I could see what it was.

I picked one of the roses up and twirled it around in my hand, studying it. It was made of metal, painted and exquisite. I had never seen anything like it and I trailed my finger over each red petal. I looked back at the table where a whole bouquet of them greeted me. Some of them in bloom others just buds but all of them stunning.

I gasped as I realized that Edward must have made each one of them, welding them together until they hit perfection. I spun around to look for Edward and had to catch my breath at the mere sight of him.

He was dressed to a T, incredible handsome, his green eyes sparkling in the light. When our eyes met, he smiled as he saw my grin. I did not say anything as he stepped closer towards me and knelt down on one knee. My heart began to beat faster as I anticipated what was happening.

Edward had one of the painted metal roses in his hand, but this one was different, it held a strategically placed engagement ring, made to look like a dewdrop on the rose.

"Bella," Edward said and I pulled my eyes away from the beauty of what he was holding. I stared intently in to his eyes as my own began to tear up.

"My love for you is strong, unbreakable. I want nothing more out of this life than to be yours…forever." He reached out his free hand to mine and continued, "Will you marry me?"

I tried to form an actual sentence rather than squealing but it came out as a soft sob, "Yes."

I cried as Edward slid the teardrop shaped diamond onto my ring finger. At the same moment that the ring set in place, a lamp in the corner of the room shined too bright before it dimmed out leaving Edward and I to celebrate in the darkness.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading!<strong>

Check out In the Stars if you liked this one.

3 Wings


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